Onward and upward. I won't stick to any specific order, as I've done many
(MANY) trial and error therapies. One that stands out, is my adventure with
Psilocybin (magic) mushrooms, right here, in our apartment. A practitioner
administered the 'shrooms and I waited for them to take effect. Scheduled for
four hours, the "shaman" left after two, when nothing happened. Not one
blessed thing! Inducing "visions" and memories were a complete bust; sober
as a church mouse.
Not quite as useless, was consuming "edibles" (gummies). While the
recommended quantity did nothing, an entire unit yielded some interesting
times. Imagine, walking around equatorial sidewalks, convinced that the
ground was slushy with fresh snow. Imagine a blind guy trying to navigate the
deep slush in his treadless loafers (note: Latinos, in their bottomless wisdom,
use indoor ceramic tile to create sidewalk surfaces; traction/schmaction!). And
hearing/not hearing Karen talking. Thinking that perhaps I'd imagined her
saying something, and mulling that over, before asking if I'd imagined her
asking if I was okay with her going on a spending spree. Those of you with
experience in that field, I'll leave you to your edibles. However, I can safely say,
that THC does not cure Apraxia!
There was also a couple in North Carolina (who split their time between
Ecuador and their home state), and manufacture natural remedies, including
mineral and vegetable supplements. The goal of Mikki's ministrations, was
to flush the remnants of the AZ shots out of my body, believing that this might
alleviate the symptoms. One of the prescribed (out of ten or so) pills and
powders was derived from a fungus on birch trees. A delightful flavor (blah!),
when mixed with water which, with its companion concoctions gave me as
much relief as my daily baby aspirin. Two months of twice-daily pills.
Thinking that there might be an even deeper mental cause, I went to see
a psychiatrist, to see if perhaps anti-anxiety meds might fix me, He happily
prescribed Clonazepam for a short bit. Not feeling any positive change, he
added another(whose name escapes) anti-anxiety drug. Even together, no
positive results. Blood-flow to certain parts was affected, however,
and I weaned myself, ASAP!
All of this was being done, in concert with my Canadian-trained neurologist
(she of the discomfort around eyelid injections) and Margarita was very
supportive of any theory that had some credibility and lacked danger. The
next adventure was at her urging and was administered by a neurological
scientist (and doctoral students) at the local Catholic university. The treatment
is called Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), in which incredibly
powerful electromagnets are placed on the skull of an affected person.
Normally used for anxiety and depression (replacing electroshock therapy),
rapid pulses of magnetic energy are focused on affected area(s) of the brain.
While Margarita had strongly recommended the area of the brain, concerned
with eyelid movement, it seems they went with their own protocol, focusing on
the motor cortex (or some such) for a month of daily treatments. I only
discovered this discrepancy, the final week, and a change was not in the offing.
The university was an hour's bus ride away, and each day, I spent a total of
three hours between treatments and mass transit. How did I navigate, you
ask? One word; stubborn. Karen was willing to be my eyes, but I insisted
on struggling my way through this and, after a few times, it wasn't so tough.
Latinos, in their infinite wisdom, do NOT consult with one-another,so
Margarita didn't check-in to see if her recommendation was being followed.
That left this poor Gringo to the care of the clinician, Esteban. Delightful
young man, he happened to be a musician, and is enamored of the
music of my youth. So, we spent each hour enjoying each others' tunes
(well, mostly mine) and bonding over some really awesome albums.
I managed to wrangle another week, with the pulses focused on another area
of the brain. A fair bit of negotiating and wheedling, at long last had a much
more powerful pulse applied to the part of my brain that was indicated. Sadly,
two weeks of this changed nothing and we parted ways.
Next was the uncle of our friend and guide, Felipe. Uncle Servio lived near
the coast, four hours away; so Karen, Felipe and I made a weekend of it,
staying in a rustic little farm accommodation. Seems the city of Machala
was a bit dangerous, and staying near the doctor was a poor idea, so we
stayed at "Happy Fruit", an hour away. Servio uses and injects a
German-sourced medicine called "Procaine" to cure most anything,
Of course, I heard "cocaine" and got excitedly right down to it turns out it's
related to novocaine, and was injected along the scar of my heart surgery,
the area around the AZ shots (another "anti-vaxxer, Dr Servio) as well as
around my eyes. That was Friday, and no results were felt. Saturday we
returned for round two. This time, the shots were inside my mouth and
throat. While Felipe could hold the light for the doctor, he could not
observe my tonsils being injected, I think Karen averted her eyes as well.
Brave Servio didn't flinch, and neither did I. Sadly, no result.
Round three with Dr Servio took place at our home. He'd asked me to get a
panoramic of my teeth and send it to him ($15 for the x-ray). He was excited
to see the file, as it confirmed something he'd suspected; I still had my
wisdom teeth! His theory was that the teeth were impacting my skull
(muscles, nerves, etc), resulting in my condition. When he dropped-by
with his handy doctor bag, complete with syringes and (you guessed it)
procaine, he sat me down and injected the stuff on both sides of each
wisdom tooth, to simulate their removal. The thought being, that if my
eyelids worked, his theory was correct, as the numbing effect took hold.
You're probably used to this by now, but no change, At the end of the visit,
as the freezing wore off, my lids
remained firmly down.
So, what next? I'd done some acupuncture, massage, started going to a
gym for cardio (at the recommendation of one psychologist) and
weight-training (still going, a year later), lost weight, to the delight of our
nutritionist, my cardiologist and our GP. Continuously do mental puzzles and
Spanish learning work, just in case. Alcohol consumption is way down
(practically none) We've continued tutoring English several days per week,
not forgoing social connection or staying at home. Which only proves how
stubborn and unwilling to give up. I've broken three glasses and stepped
on the cat only twice (he's since learned to take a defensive posture when
I'm around).
It seemed I was left with two options (three, if you count Margarita's
suggestion of implanting electrodes in my skull), accept that I may be
blind(ed) forever or continue to be open to something new, whatever that
may be. Despite three psychologists and a psychiatrist assuring me that
there wasn't anything 'mental" about my condition, the occasional
eyes-wide-open experience, predicated on nothing at all, seemed to indicate
there was some willpower/psychological/muscular/dumb luck element to this.
Therefore, I'm seeing, Nick, my physiotherapist, to see if we can combine
exercise with cognitive efforts. Nick is an American, young and in love with
an Ecuadorian girl (marrying at the end of June). Though not the same as
Bell's Palsy (told you we'd come back to that), there are similarities, enough
to warrant using some of those therapies for me. Nick has shown a great
enthusiasm and initiative, in exploring my condition both in online investigation
as well as consulting with US colleagues and professors. He even shared that
there were two types of Apraxia, which (being the smart-ass) I immediately
sent to Margarita, who confirmed the "ideomotor" version. Not that it's any help,
since it isn't my type of APRAXIA.
Then the idea that Nick might work with my psychologist, Anna
(another Gringa), to explore the possibility that the psychological may have
some sort of impact still, though not exclusively. Both seem rather intrigued,
if not enthused at the idea of collaborating to work toward a solution (I need
to be careful about using the word ("cure") with me. Not to be too down on
Latino culture, but this seems not to happen outside of North American circles,
so I'm grateful to them both. Not gonna count any chickens, but the physio
seems to be having an effect, Certainly not predictable nor controllable
(might even be placebo), but I sense the severity receding at times and
am hopeful that this collaboration may yield more results. I'd likened it to
those "magic-eye" puzzles, where you have to do two things at once; relax
your eyes and yet force them to focus in a certain way, to see the 3-D image,
I'm encouraged by the concern, thoughts and prayers of all who are aware
of my challenges, and though I can perceive a certain expectation of recovery
from some quarters, I've learned to not let the fear of disappointing my loved
ones prevent me from seeking new options. Please feel free to share this
missive with others who may have an interest (saves me from having to
explain my situation repeatedly).
Thank you,